Ode With a Twist _ April Fools!

Ode(ious) To the jackhammer


You noise polluting, chaos creating, scum of all human invention
I hurl all manner of insult in your general direction:

You dimwitted droning drill
You senseless skewer

You gravel grinder
You asphalt hole digger

You headache hasslre
You incessant, irritating, irascible instrument

May you be abducted into the pit of infamy
May you rot in a warehouse

May you whine neglected
Abandoned and lonely in a junkyard

May your operators always get promoted until you are merely a thing of the past
May your glory days of sidewalk sundering not last

May you be superseded by a superior machine
Whose efficient demeanor spews less smog and sound into the world

Whose placid quiescence shames you into permanent obsolescence
And resounds doom for all reproduction of your kind
May your specs never come again to a homo sapiens’ mind

May your obnoxious noxious cacophony now cease
And leave these poor unsuspecting denizens of apartment complex and business office in blissful peace.

May you dwell where no citizen sets foot
And may your motor go kaput.

Oh noisome noisy nuisance,
Oh abominable apparatus tunneling tirelessly through terrain
Oh contemptuous invader of contemplative space

May you be driven very, very far away
And be remembered as the odious mistake among technologies today


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