Caught In the Tides of Samhain

Every once and a while,
a longing …

An aching
in bone,

A sighing
Disturbing disquiet,

A howling low
Like wind,

Blowing through
Catches me sharply.

Displaced, disoriented,
The known feels so unfamiliar.

Silent emptiness, tightly contained,
Sifts through,

The outer shell,
too small.

Every once in a while,
reaching out
for you,

Isn’t enough,
Not face to face,
Speaking, no voices.

Passing by, passing through,
Each other

I am the other
Where space is crowded with your absence.

Every once and a while,
home beckons
a shining light,

And I long,
I ache for home,
For the solidness of knowing you.

For that time when we’ll be
Reunited, together,

Even though, around me
The great world unfolds, dazzling wonder,
And I love all of it.

Even though in the stillness you are
Here, I am not alone,
On this journey, still not the same.

Even though…
I long, something is missing,

Laughter and music,
Drying tears, simple gestures.

When you run to catch me flying,
I might never let you go.

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2 thoughts on “Caught In the Tides of Samhain

  1. Éilis, this is beautiful, haunting, terribly sad and lonely. Sometimes I get that nameless longing, too, what for, I have no idea. Its painful while it lasts. I’m glad when its gone, but strangely, glad to have known it, too. Does that make sense?

    1. It makes sense, Ali. 🙂 I understand. Most of the feeling has left me on waking, I went through everything I am greatful for before falling asleep which seems to be very helpful. I’ll feel this way again, and yes as you said I am strangely glad for it. Sometimes I think it comes on me because I can love and be loved, because I am human. And even stranger still, I think I remember in some way beyond language, more than this one life. The thought I had more specifically in the midst of it all yesterday is, I am so blessed to know my otherworld kin, but sometimes, I just wish I could spend time with them in person like with manifest people: but the feeling of not being home, it goes beyond that even, and I can’t name the rest of it.

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