The seed sewn at the center
Waits to grow
Is always yours to hold.
As if dissolved in a cocoon,
I prepare to emerge changed
Into what I have always been.
My mind doesn’t know it yet,
And yet, I dream
Of unchecked skies and new found wings, I dream.
The metal box overflowing with my fears
Is too heavy to keep
Carrying on this journey,
So I’ll leave it on the bottom shelf
Behind the self help
Books promising “a better you.”
I am enough,
I scream at their winking gold titles.
Because even though I am
Cracked and chipped and damaged,
Dropped by accident too many times,
In turmoil with the mending of old wounds,
Still I take off again into the blue,
No longer meant to hide, or forced to crawl.
I tell the one who fights transforming at all:
Wordless love waits for whomever can
Commend themselves into the hands
Large enough to contain each
Of our sharp and jagged pieces.
To hold each imperfect moment, without comment.
None will hand me back such trying
Marked up red for correcting
Along with, “it would be better had you been done differently.”
So tomorrow, letting go, I’ll break down
The sealed doors to secret rooms
Behind which occupants bide their time, unwelcome.
Even if, to evict them I dissolve shaking
Into a dark shelter beyond
Which nothing is certain.
Hidden there are the keys for the freedom
To reign in my own home,
A butterfly monarch sustained by wildflowers.
Hidden there, myself unchanged.
And because there is nothing to do or be differently,
I’ll be wholly different from before.
I’ll remember what wings are, never forgetting who carries me,
The wind across this expansive, unsung sky,
And above the clouds, I’ll soar.