Yesterday, while in the bog,
I dredged up a bottle of spiked eggnog.
I exclaimed “How strange!” and “Oh my word!
Its remains are perfectly preserved!”

I briefly worried it could be a rig,
It’s not expected on a dig.
But upon inspection, though there was no mold,
Carbon dating confirmed: eighteen hundred years old!

By the gods! I didn’t know what to do,
I found myself questioning all that I knew.
For of course, I have seen my fair share of old beer,
But how could spiked eggnog have ended up here?

It could not have been traded, or won in a war,
Its design is quite modern, of that I am sure,
Bottled in glass with a logo, no less:
This puts our data in a real mess…

Unless…

Before my colleagues notice what I’ve exhumed,
I ensure that the artifact is safely consumed.
I’m certain it’s a finding that wouldn’t be missed,
And I’ll be the only person who’s pissed!

Happy April 1!