I was you when you cried
All alone, no one there
Cloaked in possibility’s sudden
Severe song of I am here
The earth your cradle
The wind she who rocked you
In the screaming silence
All around you
I made my way
Gathered you softly in my arms
To whisper, there now, it’s okay
Come home, I say
I was you when you arrived
Pink and trembling
Fragile and small
A girl who gripped life
With the passion of the gnarled oak
solid, sapling strength
Unaware of how time would erode
The steadfast soil beneath your feet
Before you knew how hateful jealousy
Could try stealing your light in insatiable hunger
And still, though turned from green to brown
You refused to be uprooted by its thunder
I made my way
Gathered you softly in my arms
Replanted you as you were reaching
To touch the spark of brilliant sky
From a greater light you now are grown
And in the breeze enfolding you
I whisper, it will be okay
Come home, I say
I was you
Sister of my heart
When your stern smile
Broke through the vale
Of a startling world
To gaze quizzically
with clear, sharp child’s eyes
Up at unfamiliar faces
How you wondered, even then
Why you had to hush at all
Solid as the granite rock
Keening after experience
Unquenchable as the wailing wall
You were, not yet trusting
If the foundations would hold
Were the posts to crumble and fall
You became my lighthouse
Not knowing who else would heed the call
Of that ever beckoning spark within
You lived out loud as did we all
I gather you up in my arms
As your reluctance melts away
I whisper, it has always been okay
Come home, I say
I was you
Taking your first breath of precious life
Reaching out to an expectant
Waiting world
Hands eager to explore
To touch your beaming mother’s face
And taste the exquisite solace
Of arms who knew of love
And in the harshness of uncertain time
You encountered and embraced letting go
Tending carefully the light of memory
Which each, crossing over, left behind
I catch you
Leaping wildly into my arms
Laughing, okay, okay
You’re home, I say
I, the one who touched another world
Before I learned to crawl
I reach out
Gather myself in my arms
And through all I am and ever was
I thread the shreds of shattered past
At last to mend them whole
Pull the weeds of grief and fear
So in their place, love and joy
Can once again reseed the grove of our belonging
And then, never more, should our children need
To weep our tears of longing
Around the circle, we join hands
Changed, though just as ever one
Shining through our eyes, the patterns rearranged
Emerge in wonder, it is done
Success and Joy, Éilis, that’s what I’m getting! Hooray! You’ve worked hard for this. Although I can’t work out if this is Ailbhe’s song to you, or your song to your previous self… Never mind, it sounds positive and happy and that’s what matters. Xxx
It was an incredible experience Ali! Actually every section starting with “I was you” is for a different person. There were five of us there–Oisin, Sadbh, Ailbhe, and Caoilte, the fifth person was myself, who I am now. And maybe who I was–I’m not sure about that! 🙂 Maybe but if so pretty indirectly.
Have you heard of genetic memories? We, all of us together, cleared a bunch of them so new generations won’t inherit the same patterns. Which is definitely a thing to celebrate! And I just feel honored to be a part of that and am in awe and wonder about the whole experience as usual. 🙂
That’s just what you wanted! I remember you talking about it ages ago, and now you have achieved it! I’m so happy for you! 😁
:-)!
I think the term I am looking for is ancestral DNA which is very slowly getting some scientific confirmation. 🙂
I wasn’t everyone, not in the sense of existence. We were all present as individuals. And then again, we are never separate, which makes much surprisingly and wonderfully possible. 🙂
And Sadbh was there too? I think a lot must have happened since we last emailed. It’s great to see you so happy. Xxx