Reflected Darkly

How can I love you?
All you are lacking:
Your empty spaces,
Locked doors,
Torn dreams,
Blind fears?

How can I love you?
Squinting through the glare of fluorescent memories
At every twisted, knotted decision
Rewandering the wrong turns
Of your wasted years?

How can I love you?
With resentment coiling in your eyes?
Purple with anger
A thousand scars
Rage against the silence
Incapable of tears.

How can I love you?
I have searched the worlds for compassion,
But my bitter judgments are all I’ve found,
Every flaw screams loud and clear.
At a loss, I turn around
And put away the mirror.

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7 thoughts on “Reflected Darkly

  1. Well that was an unexpected ending! So much pain and anguish here, Éilis. But very beautiful, all the same. I hope its just creative license, and not how you really feel about yourself. Brilliantly done. Xxx

    1. Ali… sadly I really did feel this way when I wrote the poem this morning. It’s something I really struggle with, being that I see the truth of what I am looking at, but usually only give credit to the bad rather than the good. I’m harder on myself than anyone I have ever met would dream of being. Fortunately I’ve got awesome friends and family in this world and the next to help me reframe perspective and get through the worst of it. 🙂

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