It doesn’t matter
How often it keeps you up at night
If it makes you feel uncomfortable
Or whether you cry bitter, fearful, or joyful tears
It doesn’t matter
The struggle, and how often you look away
That you find it impossible to accept
While rationalizing excuses, constructing creatively convincing denials
Truth forces you out of hiding
Truth doesn’t leave you be
Truth whispers whether or not you listen
Truth is the mirrored image you’re too afraid to see
If it’s true, believe it
What’s the sense in doing anything else
Find it, face it,
The truth about yourself
The truth is you have always been worthy,
The truth is you have always been whole
You are already wild, it’s true,
And you are beautiful
You have the compassion of others
But are in great need of receiving your own
You are deeply, fiercely loved
And you have never been alone
It’s the truth, so live with it
Even when it seems too hard
And one day you’ll be living it
With everything you are
The Sound of What Happens 
Love it. You have the compassion of others, but are in great need of receiving your own. You are deeply, fiercely loved, and you have never been alone. BEAUTIFUL my friend. ❤
Thank you, Diane! It was very powerful for me to actually write it down. I’m still struggling to believe it more often than not, but that doesn’t matter, I derive a lot of strength from that too. We’re still worthy and loved, whether we’re struggling or not. Sometimes that makes all the difference. 🙂
“You are deeply, fiercely loved
And you have never been alone” I loved that. Beautiful and brave.x
Thank you, Steve! 🙂
Some good advice there Éilis! Thank you, lovely words. I was told ‘You are capable of more than you ever thought you you could be.’ I dont think they were the exact words, but it made me cry. Why cant we believe these things of ourselves?
I don’t know, Ali. While I was writing the part about believing the truth no matter what, it occurred to me that I was already anticipating some judgment about how I could be better. It seems like a default mode: you hear, look within to find the truth about who you are, and if you’re like me, you just cringe and expect the worst. It blows me away, every time, when instead I am shown that I’ve never been broken, or separate, or lacking. I wish we were conditioned in our cultures to be more objective about ourselves. We see the good in other people, but it’s so hard to recognize it, let alone stand by, the beautiful and good in us, which we have just for being at all. I know what you mean, I’ve cried too, a lot. I still struggle with it. I’m grateful I’ve got people who don’t judge anyone who will constantly remind me. It was huge for me to discover that my self-worth has nothing to do with my actions. It still baffles me that this could possibly be the case, and yet it is, fortunately for us all really. 🙂 When I was told I was already wild, I was in tears. Usually I might not even take in something like that– but fortunately it was very impossible to ignore. Yes, we’re all more capable than we could ever imagine. Perhaps we aren’t raised with the permission to think or say or act on it, maybe we fear our own power, we’re not sure how to trust ourselves on it, we grow up feeling like it is somehow selfish to believe we are loved unconditionally without a reason. I certainly haven’t magically made the switch over to never struggling with accepting such truths about me. I feel there’s at least got to be some reason, some accomplishment. But intellectually I understand that is because we are conditioned to base being enough on productivity and tangible results, instead of the essence of us. So, in centered moments, I ask myself, how can we switch or change the world around us in light of these profoundly healing truths within us? Maybe that only works from the inside out of each person. But maybe that is not all that is possible. What if we raised our children outside the illusions because we ourselves no longer believed them, what if we could show an alternative to everyone who met us? Maybe that isn’t even wise. I don’t know. I certainly haven’t gotten beyond anything. I just ask questions and wonder and struggle to find the good in me anyway.
Yes, tangible results, lime how good we are at something, how successful, how physically beautiful, these atre things we are judged by, accepted for, and not who we really are. That’s the shallowness of humans, most of us only accept what we can see or touch. And thats bred into us, so thats how we view ourselves too, and if someone tells us otherwise, we just cant accept it. Sad. 😊
Yes, it’s very sad. For me, I go through all sorts of phases on the issue. Sometimes I just can’t accept it and I don’t have much hope that I will. Sometimes I get determined to push through all the upbringing and learn/come to accept it despite everything. Often I’m somewhere in between. It’s hard to take in, that I’m already enough, but the good news is, I’m at least listening.
When my daughter struggled with food, being one of the few things she felt she could control it was facing the truth that she was actually doing the opposite that was so hard to face and took time and tears to adjust. Your poem perfectly encapsulates that journey
I’m glad the poem resonated with you, Geoff. I’m sorry to hear about how much your daughter struggled, but am relieved to know she recovered. It takes a lot of courage and acceptance to heal. Eating disorders are brutal and persistent and effect everyone in a family. My step sister has anorexia and is still struggling with it. My heart goes out to your daughter and to you.